Updated: Jun 16, 2021
A Physicist can tell you what this means from a Quantum Physics(?) standpoint, but I can tell you from a personal standpoint what it means for me. And, as far as I know, it has nothing to do with physics, or does it???
Today I helped move the majority of my furniture out the door and down three flights of stairs in triple degree heat. As the sweat dripped down my face and I felt my muscles working, I had such an overwhelming feeling that's hard to put into words--a feeling that contained elements of freedom, fulfillment, happiness, and life achievement. I was almost elated when I walked back into my almost empty apartment. At this moment in my life, the furniture was just that--furniture. I bought most of it quickly, and it successfully served a very functional purpose--to furnish a home that I knew would never be a long term situation. That's not to say it didn't look nice, because I believe it did. I've always taken great pride in the aesthetics of my home whether it was a temporary shack in Laguna Beach, or in my even more temporary bedroom in Mexico (a place I lived for a couple of months with an amazing Mexican family many years ago as part of my Anthropological studies). Today my furniture was given meaning and I believe it went to its new home surrounded in positive energy. Often we don't know the people that buy our furniture, but in this case I was fortunate to have mine go to an amazing woman that I believe I was supposed to meet. From our first conversation just sitting outside, I know synchronicity was at work. Our paths were meant to cross and I strongly believe we will stay connected in some way. As Einstein so accurately said, "Coincidences are God's way of staying hidden".
As I walked back into my empty apartment that will be my home for over 3 weeks before leaving for Belize, my thoughts kicked in. For me, in this sort of emptiness, my emotions and thoughts have no material distraction, and therefore they run free. It's euphoric in many ways. Today's wave went from, "there's no turning back now!", to absolute gratitude for every step in my life journey (especially this next big one with my soulmate...my Dani!). I have zero regrets and know that every step was needed to bring me (us) here.
I've never been a "forever home" kind of person, even since I was a little kid. I never understood why people want to stay in the same place for such a long period of time, but that's just me. I'm way too curious. People and their stories have always fascinated me.
Printed on a jar that Dani gave me for Mother's Day is a phrase that I believe is very true, albeit heavily overused on cheap journals, mugs, t-shirts, etc. That is, "Not all who wander are lost". In this jar, we collect a little memento from every place we've been. I'm so happy that she wants to be my little wandering sidekick. I absolutely know that these life experiences will transcend anything she can learn in the classroom (though she'll be doing that too) and every day I thank God immensely for the ability to do this with her.
Across my entire life, to be true to my curious, independent, free-spirited, Aquarian character, I've had to challenge myself as far as material possessions are concerned. As someone that's lived all over the US and even the world at various points in my life, this move to Belize will not be the first time, by any means, that I've gone through this self-test. And today, as always in the past, I passed with flying colors.
As I mopped the dusty floor of my empty apartment, happiness was emanating from me because I knew that I will actually enjoy living in this emptiness for a few weeks because it validates the things I already know are inherent to who I am as a person. I've never needed material possessions for happiness. It's actually quite the opposite. In many ways, I see them as shackles--barriers to my wandering ways. And, through my life journey, it's when I have been shackled like this, that my depression and sadness kick in.
I may wander, but I'm not at all lost. I think it might be quite the opposite. <3 <3 <3